Sick Fun

I am sick and I'm having fun...

well actually, 'sick fun' is a Cantonese words for 'to eat'. Of course it spelt differently, but that was how it sounds like.

Talking bout 'sick fun', this is what I had for dinner yesterday

Ramly burger.. yummy! Special wrapped in an egg.. With iced tea.

and this is what i had for lunch earlier that day..

Teppanyaki!


Jalan-jalan saw this... Yaya's favorite restaurant..


Lovely weather today...


Eh, what's that? Oh, i see, black gold has been discovered in KLCC (as in sh*t, not crude...the sewage pipeline was leaking).

Eye Dee Ten Tee - Part II

I'm weird...

I like to iron my money to make them look crisp and like new.

and usually I dont have to iron our rm5 polymer note because its rarely crumpled. But last nite, while I was in a mood of ironing, i decided to give it a try..

How retarded I was! Look at the outcome. Clearly another classic example of an Eye-Dee-Ten-Tee..

My moneyyyyy!!!luckily only one note..

Irritation, It Comes In Groups - Part III

Puke inducing conversation between this teenage girl with his b/f (about to be an ex) over the phone.

Girl : Sayaaang, sayang sayang sayang? {Honey bunny, do you love me}
B/F : .. sumthing..sumthing..
Girl : Sayang saaayang sayang! {I lovey dovey you so much!!}
B/F : *must have said something like 'fcuk off biatch'*
Girl : Sayaaaanngg! *Gedik manja* {* being coquettish*}
B/F : *bf hang up*
Girl : Sayang?? Sayang !!?? *hang up and looked pissed*

Serve you right! Me and other passengers just looked at each other. amused? dumbstrucked? revolted?

Gee, I didnt know you could only use a word for the whole conversation. Always a first time for anything huh!

==================

Apa nak jadi lah malaysia ni::

Ibu Melarang Anak Memakai Jilbab (purdah)

Seorang pemuda baru saja baru sahaja pulang kerumah. Ia sendirian di biliknya melepas lelah sambil menatap langit yang membiru.

Kesibukan menyelenggarakan ceramah keislaman di masjid betul2 meletihkan.

Suasana hening dan damai di flat kediamannya kerana ramai penghuni masih belum balik dari kerja.

Dari balik dinding sayup-sayup terdengar perbualan jirannya seorang Ibu tua dengan anaknya.

Anak : Ibu..

Ibu : Hmmm ?

Anak : BU !

Ibu : APA ?

Anak : Mmm, anu ... tadi saya ke masjid dengar ceramah.. Ibu dengarlah ni !

Ibu : IYA ! Ibu dengar. Cakap ajalah. Kan ibu tengah sibuk memasuk kan benang kejarum ni. Susah pulak rasanya. Agaknya mata ibu sudah nak rabun...

Anak : Bu !

Ibu : Apa dia ? cakap ajelah, Yang ?

Anak : Tadi, di masjid seorang ustaz bercerita soal jilbab. Katanya pakai jilbab itu wajib. Ibu, Mulai sekarang saya mau pakai jilbab. Boleh tak Bu..?

Ibu : Jangan ...

**Pemuda dari balik dinding makin menajamkan perhatian pendengarannya. **

Anak : Tapi tu perintah Allah. Kalau tidak patuh kita berdosa, Bu. Boleh ya, saya mau pakai jilbab ?

Ibu : Kan ibu kata JANGAN ...

Anak : Tapi bu.. bukan lebih baik saya memakai jilbab kerana kita orang islam dan sudah tentu dapat menjaga maruah dan harga diri saya.. betul tak bu...? Bolehlah bu..

Ibu : TIDAK !

Anak : Kenapa? Atau ibu terpengaruh sama cerita bohong pasal memakai jilbab? Kata Ustaz, jilbab itu bukan budaya Arab. Itu Syariat Islam. Islam yang sebenar bukan adat. Dari dulu memang diwajibkan demikian, bukan trend baru-baru ini aja.

Ibu : Iya, iya Ibu faham tu. Tapi ibu kata JANGAN !

Anak : Jadi Ibu melarang saya nih... Bu, mau tak mau saya tetap akan pakai jilbab. Terserah Ibu nak kata apa. Tak perlu taat pada orang tua,kalau orang tua itu menyuruh maksiat pada perintah Allah.

Ibu : Kamu tak faham-faham lagi ke?. Ibu kata jangan, jangan, JANGAN !!!

Anak : WALAU APAPUN JADI BESOK SAYA TETAP PAKAI JILBAB. MUKTAMAD!

Ibu : JANGAN !

Anak : JILBAB !

Ibu : J A N G A N !!!

Anak : J I L B A A A A A A B !!!!

Pemuda tadi sudah tidak dapat menahan keinginannya. Ia terus keluar bilik untuk bertemu ibu dan anak itu untuk membela si anak agar si ibu bersetuju dengan kemahuan si anak. Tangannya sudah terangkat di depan pintu untuk mengetuk ....

namun terdengar lagi kata-kata dari si ibu ...

Ibu : KAMU NI BUDIN, IBU KATA JANGAN.. JANGANLAH! KAMU KAN LAKI-LAKI.....

Pemuda, Si jiran sebelah pun berlalu ..dengan langkah yang longlai

==================

Me: I need a pen..
AA: It's in the drawer there. How many do you need?
Me: One..
AA: Ok...Help yourself
Me: Thanks.. *grab one and about to leave*
AA: Eh, eh eh... let me see!
Me: *Showed my pen*
AA: No no no... You cant take this one!
Me: Why not?
AA: This pen is only for the boss.
Me: Then which pen is for us?
AA: That one....
Me: Get out.. youre kiddin right
AA: *staight-do-i-look-like-i'm-crakin-a-joke face*
Me: okay... *slowly putting the pen back.. and went back to my place*
AA: I thought you need a pen..
Me: *Oh-fcuk-you-how-much-more-you-want-me-to-feel-embarrassed face!!*

Why so stingy? its only Stabilo pen.. gee...

Beware!! The management pen. I guess it's gold pleated.. Mont blanc! NOT!


Communer pen. After 2 words, the ink smeared...

Eye Dee Ten Tee

I was such an eye-dee-ten-tee, or at least felt like one.

I was already half-way to the KLCC last nite when I had a chance to look down on my feet. And to my horror, i saw this:

Unmatched! I'd passed like 10 people and they were all talked to me.. and none of them said anything about it..

So I had to brave the rain, pushed the elevator button hiked the stairs to the office, grabbed the correct pair, and walked back to KLCC...grrrr..

What's eye-dee-ten-tee? Well, this clue will tell u.

Hmmm, get it? If this glaring clue doesnt make any sense to you, then I'm proudly say that youre an eye-dee-ten-tee too :p

P/S: This expression could be used to your boss too. Lets say he keep on asking what's the root cause of the problem (or any applicable situations), tell him in a straight-convincing-face that "we are experiencing an eye-dee-ten-tee situation here". Tap lightly on the table to show your seriousness. Make sure you have your resume ready in a mean time.

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold

My usual veggie meal

La Mangue. Huge one.


Un pomme. Gigantic one.


La Banane. Hmmm.. it's a twin banana. Double the pleasure, double the fun.

And since i'm already cured, what's the better way to celebrate than to eat... MEAT! Muahahah. I'm gonna eat like king..

Look Ma, im kissin my stinkin a$$.


Look Ma, i'm dead...


Look Ma, i'm on this plate....

See my friends, thats why I prefer to be a vegetarian... :p


This is yesterday's dinner. Nando's Peri-peri chicken..


This is the nastiest chicken spagetthi i'd ever taste. It's so dribbled in oil (not olive obviously), everytime I took a bite, i felt like I drank shortening.


I had enough...I bought it at Waroeng KLCC aka Asian Flavor, level 4. Reason #2 why i hardly eat there. For reason #1? Heh heh heh.. It has got to do with Petron*s staff.


This is a much better brunch. Bought it at my fav food court.. Signature. What do we have here.. hmm, extra soft, melt-in-your-mouth egg tarts, crispy-charcoal-toasted with oh-so-yummy kaya spread, two soft-boiled-to-perfection omega eggs with light soy sauce and fine white pepper. And all being washed down with aromatic-ipoh style, hot white coffee.

Those two extra succulent chicken with fragrant rice brothed in perfection on the background belong to other lunchmates.

The Wooing and Wedding of a Coon

It's school holiday. Meaning wedding season is gettin into full steam.. Just get ready your wallet..

So eventually, I was being invited to attend one yesterday at Kajang.

Ulu banak!!! Kajang is like, so not in Malaysia...

After like dozens of wrong turns and dead ends, we finally arrived at Jash's home for her wedding reception. There were 3 others wedding receptions within the vicinity. although the first convoy ended up to the wrong one, we are lucy to get to the right one ..

To add to the confusion, there's 4 'Jash'es in that house. Jashirin, Jashirina, Jashirita and Jash'i-have-forgotten'.

I've been in this erea before with Rizana (for her buka puasa). But she used the other, less complex, route.


The road to the weddin. Oh, btw, along the way, there's this huge sign board to, guess where?, Sunway Lagoon.. Yeah.. Kajang is only 42km away from sunway lagoon! Why not put direction to Singapore also? Eh, my bad.. also got one :p



Oh, you can park anywhere you like. As long as not in front of the neighbors' gates. Huh, what neighbor?


Rambutan.. full of it along the way. Unfortunately they're all still green.


The receptionists with the lightning rods. For my 'ang moh' friends out there, its common for Malay wedding to sacrify maids by getting them blown by lightning to ward off evil. No guess it didnt work because, I, the purest form of evil, managed to get there...


Yaya, guess who I bumped into? Your best friend! Kak Anne. Why do I call her 'Kak' and your mum 'Auntie'? hmmmm...


The house where the reception took place. I know I shouldnt have write this, but I really cant keep it to myself. During the doa, the imam recited "let this marriage be as smooth and peaceful as Adam & Eve's".. Excuse me pakcik, do you know that Adam was casted off from heaven, got seperated from his beloved wife for yonks, and their kids slayed each other?


The tent for the guests with mouth watering foods being served. (Nasi Minyak, ayam kampung goreng berempah, rendang tok.. etc) Sorry, cant show these delicious foods.. else Kyora / Yaya / Zoowra would cry...


The bride n groom. Having the shy-shy lunch. I could have sworn, she looks pretty. It's the camera! Look at my pic above.. it's horrendous! *Gasp* Well, except for Kak Anne. She looks the same come rain or shine.


A Malay weddin reception wouldnt be completed without this 'Bunga Telur' (Egg basket with hard boiled egg). What is the significance yeah? IMHO, it is just to make your fart louder n stinkier?

You see, during British imperial era, not everyone could afford 'kompang' band. Therefore, forcing each and every guests to gobble these [sometimes rotten] eggs, the host create their own band.

Thus, we would be lucky if the guest could break wind to the tune of 'Waltzing Matilda' or when there's a British officer at presence; 'Rule Britannia'. After a few more eggs, they can also break wind to five choruses of 'Unchained Melody'.

Well nowadays, the eggs are no longer the 'in' thing. People substitute it with soap, handkerchief, towel, candies or a bar of fruit cake. Long gone the stinkin era :p

Anyway, the wedding reception was GREAT. Love it.. The couple looks great together..

The Devil Wears Prada

Well, after so much hype, and not wanted to be labelled ignorant, i forced myself to see what this MILF MIFW was all about...

The registration was pretty easy. All you have to do was drop your namecard and collect the tag.

Inside the hall, there's two sections. The designers section and the fashion show section.

Im so not good at describing, so here's some of the pics...


The models are gettin ready for the cat walk..


Designers creations on display


Demo on how to make 'songket'


Melinda Ooi getting things off her chest. Tee hee hee.


These are future designers. I swear! But.. but.. (*sealed*)

Nope people, there's no Prada (nor Vera Wang). Just local designers. The title is just for decoy.. to get you to read :p

Kisah Janda Yang Dahaga

Disini saya ingin menceritakan sebuah kisah mengenai seorang janda yang baru sahaja kematian suami.... Hasnah seorang janda kaya yang baru sahaja kematian suaminya akibat kemalangan jalanraya. Beliau masih muda lagi dan mempunyai potongan badan yang cantik.

Sejak kematian suaminya, beliau sentiasa diusik oleh jejaka-jejaka kampung yang sudah lama memendam rasa kepadanya. Namun begitu, Hasnah tidak pernah melayan karenah pemuda-pemuda kampung tersebut, kerana hatinya masih lagi merindui arwah suaminya...

Walaupun.... hatinya berasa sepi ketika waktu ini. Lebih-lebih lagi di waktu malam... Rasa sepi hatinya tiada siapa yang tahu...

Pada satu malam, kira-kira pukul 2 pagi.... beliau bangun dari katilnya... badannya terasa panas.... tekaknya terasa haus.... beliau terasa begitu dahaga sekali. Beliau bangun dan keluar dari bilik menuju ke dapur,...

sampai saja didapur... beliau terus membuka peti ais dan mengambil sebotol air sejuk.... beliau tuang kedalam cawan dan meminumya...

Setelah meminum air tersebut.. beliau kembali kedalam bilik dan tidur semula.

Sekian... Terima Kasih

Itulah kisah seorang janda yang dahaga...........

SPG: Facts, Facts and Statistics

"It will be long, it will be hard, there will be much tears and blood shed, but there will be no withdrawal."
---Winston Churchill

Those are the words the SPGs live by. (Someone asked me "Got hymen (blood) meh? Spg where got!"... well, I qouted the whole Churchill's phrase lah.. doesnt mean you have to take it literally word by word)

Plus other fun facts about SPG:

• An SPG is like a cheap PC. Always going down on you.
  
• SPGs eat so well, when they fart, homeless people queue up for miles.
  
• She is not promiscuous, a thousands of blokes she might have, but only one at a time.
  
• If she lifted her legs any higher, they'd have to close KLIA.
  
• SPG is a case of acquired taste. That is, she has a taste for everything you acquired.
  
• She loves being touched by any Tom, Dick or Harry....not necessarily in that order.
  
• She will not hesitate to use her body to gain attention even though her body really needs attention.
  
• She loves getting things off her chest, like her bra or bikini top!
  
• 100 plus. Not referring to the isotonic drink, but the white men she consumes monthly.
  
• Humpme Dumpme - Her favorites nursery rhyme.
  
• Whereas other women have stretch marks on their stomachs, hers are around her mouth.
  
• While most women are wary of making love to a perfect stranger, she is eager to learn just how perfect he is.
  

No-no.. not this 100-plus.

Shiawasa Nara Te O Tatake

Literally its the song.. "if you're happy and you know it clap your hand.."

Well, i am to blog about the happy hour event tonite, and the title got 'happy' word in it..so, it seems appropriate..

anyway.. today is salary day.. so i decided to splurge on good solid meal (translate .. meat!).. talking about salary, I found it living paycheck by paycheck is pathetic, but what to do?

Here today gone tomorrow.. and back to basic next week :p

Eh, off topic again.. so, there I was, walking towards KLCC.. on the way there's this HUGE poster with big bold 'MIFW' word all over it. Hmm, what is MIFW? As far as I know MIFW stand for (Mother I fu.., eh that was MILF.. sorry, the hee hee)

Straight up to Chili's. Sat at my usual spot, with my fav bartender there, knew what i want already.. "The usual?" yup!.

My spot. And there she was.. Zayu, my fav bartender.

Then I looked on my left, hmm usual.. SPG with ang moh.. looked right.. eh! this fellow!


Bugger!! It's Asun, my ex. (ex-collegemate and ex-colleague leah). There he was, having his 4th or 5th drink... "How's everything ?" he asked...

"Phew, glad you ask! freakin work is gettin crazier, I barely had time for anything.. you ex were acting funny lately.. i think she's pregnant... someone saw you joined the gym last week... ohh you loose some weight no? and yeah, we just got our annual bonus, and yeak yeak, you didnt! ;p.. plus im migrating next year" .. i thought to reply..

but only "everything's fine!" came out.. and my food arrived.

Yeay, Happy...

Then, the bartender put the beer in front of him and said.. its from that lady there! Whoaa lidat aa!! got pickup as easy as that.. his other colleagues (an myself) were so impressed... "Not the first time" he said.. winking! Bugger x2...

The best part was when he admit that earlier on, there's this guy bought him a drink also.. WHAT? if been patronising this outlet for eons, but never got a drink from any chick nor guy... how unfair.. "mat salleh celup ma, what to do!"

cheh! some people's luck!


Pic from yesteryear with him n yaya. And ohh, the birthday boy was me.. and no, I was not bigger than him.. the camera was making me look like a giant..


and something for the girls to ga-ga over...

P/S: MIFW stands for Malaysian International Fashion Week...(Thanks to Zoowra, org London pun tahu.. hi hi)

Baby Bloom

Bumped into Hera during lunch. She works at the M***s now..

Casually chat with her, married with kid. So i asked her to email the kid pic.. She did..


Awww...so cute.. make my day :)
The name is Hezrey Adam

Loco Motion

Today is was suicidal!

Since morning, there's this 'potential HBI' incident which took the whole morning to be solved. I was pressed for updates hourly.. Almost drove me insane! Turned out its only Low business impact incident(more like no business impact!) Just infra problem, the AS400 IPL was taking 99% resources. The root cause? Beats me (and someone is going to be very upset with that answer tomorrow!)

By 6, I had enough and shut down. Walked to the KLCC. Reached there and were about to go down to the GF, then saw this little commotion:


What's that? My 'kay poh'ness curiousity led me downstair.


The escalator got stuck somehow....


The technician is retrieving something!


It's a sneaker! How did it get there? In the middle of the escalator. and the escalator was goin down. Did it got stuck all the way from the top? So many questions so little time.


Downstairs, there's this group of teenagers. One of them (the one in green) was having a hell of a time I tell ya! Everyone was like 'Dude, where's your shoe?' and his friends were busy consoling him taking photos and mmsing.

Someone was apparently having a worse day then mine. Poor kid! The best part was the whole time, these people were oblivious of my snappin activity. Sneaky huh! :p

Just when I thought the day would net get any better. The plots thicken...

At the train station, I was queuing up for the train. The train arrived within secondsm but since it was a peak hour, the coach was packed. But somehow, this uncivic minded kanina cut the queue and shoved into the coach. Much to other people dismay. And no other people could get in then. Since i was not in a nasty mood already (tempted to spit phlegm at her when the doors were closing, but neahhh.. karma baby!)

The sardine-packed train left... and voila within seconds (15 sec tops) there's another train.. and it was empty!!!! Like totally empty. The klcc station is like right smack in the middle, its almost impossible to have an empty train during this time. But somehow.. karma! and yeah, everybody boarded *twilight zone soundtrack playing in the background*

So yeah, that was my day.. Did I also mentioned I got discount for lunch?

SPG Dictionary

Lunge [luhnj]
–noun
1. a light midday meal between breakfast and dinner; luncheon.
2. any light meal or snack.

–verb (used without object)
3. to eat lunch.

–word usage
The white men soon learnt that there's no such thing as free lunge.

While on the subject of lunch, we (bamboo, fara, deano & myself) went to 'Belanga' for lunch. Dont ask me where.. First we were in U-thant area, and suddenly, it's Pandan.

The food is excellent and dirt-cheap.

All the belangas (earthware) full of food stuff. Its what the restaurant derived its name from.


My USD1 meal. Very cheap. Got rice, piece of chicken, and veggie (ulam). RM3.80


Cekodok and cucuq keria for desert!

And on the wall I saw this!

Gosh, I really hope, these two pakciks are the owner of the company (which sell the aphrodisiac product). Not the models/users of this kopi jantan. It's sooo wrong!

Farni email
===================
Ladies - pls sign-up all your local regular to attend one of the above communication session which are scheduled for 2 days:

Nov 20 (Monday) - 9am to 11am and 2pm to 4pm
Nov 21 (Tuesday) - 9am to 11am and 2pm to 4pm
Pls click here to fill in the names for any of the 4 sessions

NOTE: that there will be no make-up session. Attendance is COMPULSORY!
===================

The above was the email I got from our admin assistant. When I read the 'ladies' and 'no make-up' part, I could not help it but felt tickled.